Usually I'm a pretty happy person.
Traffic doesn't really bother me.
I've learned to handle crowds.
I try to take 'rude' with a grain of salt because I don't know what kind of day people have had.
And hey, this is the city.
But sometimes, just sometimes, things stick in my craw and I can't seem to shake them!
I stew for days over what I
Darn that "turn the other cheek" business!
Anyway, sometimes I have to let off a little steam.
Relieve the pressure.
Talk to myself like a crazy person!
So here goes. About six months worth of,
"Why I oughta!" . . .
*To the woman driving the minivan while simultaneously trying to wolf down one of those mega sized pixie stix - My bad! I never should have stepped off that curb while you were recklessly trying to blow through that stop light!
*To the guy in a hurry at Lowes who didn't want to wait his turn, and was apparently under the impression that I made my purchases for the sole purpose of ruining his day - "Same to you, Buddy!!!"
*To the kid who was disrespectful to the elderly cashier, cursing at her and causing quite a scene, then stomped out and tripped over the curb - BAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*To the salesmen knocking on my door at least three times a week - I do not want roofing, siding, lawn aeration, carpet cleaning, upgrades to my Internet, or a deeper understanding of Joseph Smith!
*To the guy walking the beautiful husky - Seriously?! How would you like it if I followed you home and let our dog take his evening sit-down in your yard?!
*To the cashier who was obviously having a bad day when my daughter asked the price of a stuffed animal - You snap at my little girl again, there will be no 'comment card' or speaking with a manager.
I will simply mess.you.up.
OK. No more of the negative.
There were also a few times an act of kindness slipped by without an opportunity to say thanks!
*To whichever of my kind neighbors chased down my Christmas wreaths in 60 mph winds and returned them safely to my porch - Thank You!!!
*To the could-be-an-NBA-star at the grocery - Thanks for helping this vertically challenged housewife with the top shelf!
*To Mr. T, Mrs. S, and Ms. C in AWANA - you have been an incredible blessing to the girls - Thank you!
*To the elderly gentleman in the wheelchair - Thank you for your kind words about the girls. They were happy to help!
*To whomever put these signs on all the cars up and down the block -
Well done! There's nothing like a smile and word of encouragement to start the day!
So that's it.
All things considered, it's not such a bad list.
And once again my craw is clean! For a while.
I am human after all.
And humans stew.
I'm just sayin' . . .