Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's called them the 'Mean Reds'.
Elvis sang the 'blues'.
My dad just calls them the 'Mully Grubbs'.
Whatever you call them, I've had them.
For the last week or so it just seemed like my boot straps weren't long enough to pull me out of it.
I think, if we're honest about it, most of us just need a good cry every once in a while. A purge of sorts. We need a chance to release all the emotions that we gloss over to get through our every day frustrations. Those feelings of hurt, anger, loneliness or rejection that we lock in a box marked 'I'll deal with this later'.
I want to make clear - I love my life! I've been blessed in more ways than I can say.
The Army has allowed us to expand our horizons, meet new and wonderful people, see the big beautiful world outside our little Ozark Mountain bubble.
Those of you who know my history, know I was pretty much raised for this nomadic way of life! The experiences I had as a PK have been invaluable to me as a traveling wife and mother.
But no life is perfect. Or easy.
There is a trade.
When you move so often, it's very difficult to cultivate true and meaningful friendships.
Those are things that simply take time.
I guess my main woe over the last several days has been loneliness.
It dawned on me that other than my hubby and parents, it's been weeks since I've had an actual conversation with anyone!
The girls have several friends from church. But Joe and I don't get game time and giggles in 'big church' like they do in AWANA, so it's a little tougher to connect with people.
I miss having girlfriends. I miss scrapbook parties, and shopping trips, and play dates with other moms.
Christian sisters that share a common faith.
Thank God for my mom, who has been in this boat for over 40 years and has always been a shining example.
Eventually the pity party winds down, and I see the blessings;
*being able to stay home with my girls
*seeing new places and experiencing new things through their eyes
*teaching them that they can go anywhere and be anything
*Joe being able to retire in his 40's!
Lord, please help me remember,
"... in whatever state I am, therewith to be content." Philippians 4:11
I can honestly say I understand...
ReplyDeletePraying for you a friend and some much needed "girl time" and conversation.
Love ya!
I understand the lonliness and wanting to have friendships that go deeper than an acquaintance. And also having the time to share and cultivate that relationship. I hope it gets better for you soon...the blues are not a fun place but thankfully don't usually last long.
ReplyDeleteI get the blues every now and then, too. (My personality kind of defaults to crabiness.) I totally understand the "need to cry" sometimes, just to get it all out! Usually if I spend some time in the Word and get a feel for God's perspective, then my attitude will get worked out.
ReplyDeleteAngie,
ReplyDeleteThe "mully grubs" don't just affect the children of preacher types. Imagine the preacher who, by virtue of his task, cannot get close to anyone person in his flock, for fear of leaving the others out. And no close confidant to share some of the real tests of the day-to-day relationships and ministry challenges without compromising the vow of confidences. The Lord is often the only ONE with Whom to share - and to receive His affirmation of call and right action is a truly wonderful miracle. WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, HE NEVER DOES OR WILL! KEEP LOOKING UP!
Jim-Dad
Amg, Thanks for being "real." Your comments actually encouraged me. One of my profs parapharased a passage of Scripture saying "The Lord will often let you fall down on deck, but He will never throw you overboard." So we get back up and continue to learn to walk with "sea legs." I still fall a lot, have never yet failed to look up, get up, and continue to grow up... which is a life-time task.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY SAILING
PADDY
Wish you were here Angie!
ReplyDelete