My mom (patience of Job) and dad were here week before last, and we had a great time!! While they were down, we had a little of the hurricane rain come through. It was really pouring and dad told the girls it was raining 'pitchforks and bull yearlings'. Well, the girls didn't seem to like that much at all! He asked them if they knew what a bull yearling was. Maddie didn't say anything, but Shelby leaned over and whispered. No wonder they didn't like it! Apparently what they heard was 'It's raining pitchforks and bull urine'!
One morning I offered Maddie a banana. I told her it was full of potassium. She thought I was joking! "That's not a real word!" I assured her it was and that it was good for her. She just shrugged and said, "Well I never know. You are Poppy's daughter!"
Although grandpa does it on purpose, the girls have done a pretty good job of saying crazy things accidentally. And usually at the most inopportune times! Let me share a few of my red-faced fav's:
*We were enjoying dinner out at a local steakhouse. Shelby, a bit of a picky eater, was trying to pull her peas out of their pods - she only eats the peas. She'd been working away for some time when she finally looked up and announced very loudly, "I gotta pea!" What did the rest of the restaurant hear? "I gotta pee!"
*When she was much younger, Shelby and I were at the check-out in Wally World and I noticed she was intently staring at the cashier. The lady had a rather large, tan colored mole right under her nose. I immediately knew what was coming, but there was no stopping it. I braced myself for the inevitable. "You got a booger on your nose." And there it was. But she had said it a little timidly and the cashier hadn't heard! I gave Shelby a slight shake of the head. "But mommy," she said a bit louder, "she got a booger on her nose." Still no response. Wow! I might actually get out of this! I grabbed the receipt and bolted for the exit. Shelby gave me a confused little look, turned back, and shouted at the lady. "Hey! You got a booger on your nose!!"
oooohhh! And I was so close!
*In Tennessee, we had just finished eating at our favorite Chinese buffet. At this particular restaurant, my favorite treat was a combination of vanilla, chocolate, and caramel ice cream goodness called 'Moose Tracks'. Joey was asking if anyone wanted dessert. Madison, always wanting to be helpful, chimed in, "Mommy likes moose crap!"
*After service one Sunday morning, I went to the preschool department to pick up Madison (5 at the time). It was the last week of October and one of the teachers asked Maddie on the way out what she wanted to be for Halloween. Without missing a beat, Maddie turned around and scolded, "We don't do Halloween! It's ungodly behavior!" Preach it sister.
(FYI: Last Halloween Maddie had two costumes - a doctor and a ghost!)
I guess the girls really do come by it honestly. Daddy never lets me forget the time we were planning a party. I was in the sixth grade or so and was trying to help with the supply list. I said, "Don't forget the condoms." (condiments, yes!)
He couldn't let it slide. He turned and asked, "Just exactly what kind of party are we planning here anyway?"
I have to say, in spite of all the craziness, or probably because of it, I never smile more than when our family is together. Dad's slapstick is perfectly offset by mom's dry wit. With just a look the two of them can have me rolling with laughter!
Actually, as those of you in the family can attest, the only thing crazier than daddy's rambling is teaming him up with this guy!
Dad and cousin Jim (BroCo) have been polishing their act for years!!
Let the mayhem begin!!