The girls were talking to me about dogs the other day. We had watched a movie about a very pampered chihuahua and her extremely wealthy owner. This dog spent the day at the spa getting wrapped, groomed, and pedicured. After that was a new wardrobe, then straight to Harry Winston's for a diamond studded collar! It was just a movie, but it made me wonder. What would I do with millions of dollars at my disposal and no moral compass in sight?
Well, for starters, I'd have some big bruiser named Guido guard the door while I took a long hot soak in the tub. He'd be under strict orders to bust a few kneecaps if anyone came to the door with any news less important than the house being on fire.
Then I'd hire some poor sap to fold socks. (What am I saying? I'm rich! Wear the things once, then toss them out and never worry about strays again!)
I'd earn brownie points with the hubby by flying New York pizza or real Phillie cheese steaks in for dinner.(Two of his fav's!)
I'd hire Bill Cosby to come over and play with the kids a few hours a week. And of course, a private concert by the Jo-Bro.s and Hannah Montana.
I'd install my own personal theater system. Watch movies in my jammies. And never again regret spending $8.00 a ticket before being forced to sit through thirty minutes of commercials just to get to the film.
I'd buy a ridiculously large house, then hire a mob of maids to clean it. Never again would I pick a house plan based on how many rooms there were to clean!
I'd have someone on hand to de-stem my raisins! I hate it when they still have that little stem attached.
I'd have an "Oh, Snap!" guy - besides Joey I mean! (giggle, giggle) You know, you've just found the perfect position in bed and you're about to drift off to la-la land when "Oh, Snap! I forgot to turn off the kitchen light! Go handle that for me won't you Jeeves?"
I'd shell out a grand for my dog to have a day with the doggie psychologist. Maybe we could find out why he insists on having his morning "sit-down" at 4 AM!
I'd buy a yacht! I don't know the first thing about boating, couldn't drive one if my life depended on it! But that's what the crew is for right? (Just don't hire anyone named Ahab!)