Diagnosis - Rollrefilus Incomprehendus

This is an all too common malady, though not commonly discused in mixed company.
In layman's terms, Rollrefilus Incomprehendus is the inability and or unwillingness to refill an empty paper roll. Sometimes the results of this condition can be seen in the kitchen with the paper towels. Annoying, yes. But not half as tragic as when it hits you where you really live - with the TP in the bathroom!

The symptoms of RI can easily be seen at a glance. A fresh new roll of toilet paper will be sitting on the counter, dropped on the floor, sitting on the back of the toilet, or balanced precariously on top of the empty dispenser - which will ALWAYS still have the empty roll on the spindle! Who new a hollow tube and spring mechanism could stump some of the brightest minds of our times!

Several times I have brought this 'closet illness' to light with my family. The first step to treatment is admiting the problem, you know. All I get are blank stares and the text book denial, "wasn't me!". And lest you think this only affects children, I say nay, nay. My sweetie pie, who for fourteen years has never failed to put the toilet seat down after use, even he has fallen victim. Who knew it was catchy?

Allow me to enter this statement as evidence ;
I walk into the bathroom and an entire package of TP is sitting on the floor, but the spindle is empty. I find Joey and ask if he saw the package. He says yes. Why didn't he put a roll on the dispenser? He says he got a roll out to use. Why didn't he put the package in the closet? Why didn't you he retorts. Ohhh. Game on.

I went back and put the pack right in front of the toilet where he'd have to 'move it to use it'.
He moved it all right. Kicked it over to the side against the wall.
I moved it back.
Later, kicked against the wall again.
OK. Try this big boy! I put the pack on top of the toilet seat. He'd put it away now for sure. He has to pick it up anyway.
Nay, nay. He put it right back on the floor where it started!
That night, I tried it one more time.
What do I find next morning? All the rolls out of the plastic package and neatly stacked back on the toilet lid.
Touchete, pussycat.
I put the TP in the closet and resigned myself to defeat. He had thrown the plastic wrapping away, though. Maybe that was his idea of a compromise. It's progress, I'll take it.

Now for the good news. I may have stumbled, quite accidentally, on a cure. After our move to MS, I noticed the symptoms vanish completely, at least with the hubby. What's the dif between him and the girls? Say 'Hello' to my little friend!

Imagine that! No screaming, no electroshock treatments, just a simple gadget that can be purchased at any home improvement warehouse. If only all problems were this easily solved.

So, give it up! How many Rollrefilus Incomprehendus sufferers do you have in your home?

*Footnote:

 I should make mention that after reading this post, my husband was quick to tell me to remove the splinter from my own eye. No idea what he means! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.